Signs of Getting Fatter

Do you have signs that you are getting fatter without the obvious ones (scale, clothes, mirror)? Obviously, I do or I wouldn't be begging for yours to validate my neurosis...Anyway, here were some of the "signs" or behaviors I was noticing for the past few months that I have reached a certain point with my self image. Tell me if these sound familiar, similar to yours or completely different:
Wearing baggy clothes.
Wearing my husbands clothes when I can.
Wearing lots of black. (which in my defense is actually one of my favorite colors so I wear a lot of black anyway, but I've been staying away from my tight fitting bright orange sweater and hadn't even thought of why until recently)
Avoiding the mirror. ( haven't looked at anything but my face to do make up for about 8 weeks now)
Sex has slowed down the last few months.
Avoiding seeing people or doing activities that would require me to be around people that I'm not extremely comfortable with.
Weighing myself. (sounds weird, but when I'm dieting well I weigh everyday. I'm obsessive. When I'm not doing well I don't weigh at all)
These are just the things that I can think of off the top of my head. If I think of more I will post them but I would really like some feedback on this subject. I am extremely interested in what makes some emotional eaters and not others and how their behaviors differ.

I'm a Weight Watcher!

Well, it's official. I joined weight watcher's tonight. I joined in the hopes of getting back on track, having a support system and being held accountable, because you bet your sweet ass if we're forking over $40 a month (which isn't bad) Aiden is going to make sure I get a sweet ass out of it!
: )
I love the leader of the group. She is older, not stick thin but very healthy looking, and she's funny. She made me laugh when, quite frankly, I just wanted to cry that I have let myself come to this. But I'm not going to dwell on the coulda, woulda, shoulda. I am going to move forward from this point on and not look back. I am not reporting my weight right now. When I get to a number I'm more comfortable with I will tell you what I started at. As for now just know that when I weigh in next week I am going to be at least one pound less than I am now! Join me on my journey...

First Meeting

Tonight I am joining Weight Watchers. It's not because I'm trying to be "good" through the holidays...it's because I'm not wanting to while all the other fatties (lol, can't say that with a straight face) sign up for their New Year's resolutions. The meetings will be fairly empty right now, so I want to get established before their is a rush of people. Hopefully I didn't offend anyone with the fatty comment. Remember I'm a fatty too! : ) Fat is a state of mind, anyway...right now I feel like an elephant. Maybe tomorrow it will just be a cow. We'll see?! I'll let you know how it goes.

fat fatter fattest

Cookies, cakes, candy and more. The season has given me every excuse in the book to eat like a mad woman. And I am doing it. So I guess I will get fatter until Jan. 1 because quite frankly I WANT YUMMY TREATS! Like eggnog and apple pies, candy trees and peanut butter cookies. I am going to try and maintain during the week, but then, I'm eating. I will fix my problems in Jan.!

Tis the season

So now I am lying to my dietician as I stuff the Reese's Christmas Trees down my throat. Sure, Sure I'm losing Brenda. (Uh, no I'm not) I continue to yo yo between 202 and 205. Never breaking the stupid number, but really not deserving to either. I am just tired of dieting. I am looking forward to Weight Watchers. I long for the day I can have a Turkey sandwich from subway and NOT gain 5 pounds! I'm not even asking for cheeseburgers people! Just turkey sandwiches! I hate being fat!

Food sucks

I hate food. I hate it because I love it. I hate that we need it. I haven't weighed myself because I know it may push me over the edge. I feel like it is kinda pointless right now because I'm not in a good place and it will only depress me further. I am getting a plan in place for after the holidays which include therapy, healthy eating, exercise and possibly Weight Watchers with friends. I am focusing on the fact that very soon I will be doing something about it. There is just so much going on right now (I know these are excuses) but I am trying to be realistic. I know myself and know that until things settle down I'm going to be too wrapped up in that to focus on myself. Sometimes it sucks caring more about other people than you do yourself.

Weight Watch-out!

Watch out Weight Watchers, here I come!! I haven't decided when I'm going going to start, but I'm contemplating on the next Tues. meeting with Carly. It might tip the scales (no pun intended) on my mood for Christmas. I've felt much better since yesterday and part of that mood change is deciding on a definite weight loss plan instead of continuing to do what isn't working. I want to be able to eat what I want on Christmas and New Years but I know I will feel better mentally if I am at least trying to be better when there isn't an event going on. I'll let you know what I decide.