Ha ha??

I ate BAD and drank a couple (ok, several) glasses of wine. And I went DOWN .2 oz. I realize that is nothing....but I DIDN"T GAIN!~!! I am shocked. My luck, I"ll be up 10 tomorrow! Elle won. I was only down 6.2. Good race though...need to do it every week.
Elle, I'll show you what you can do with that cupcake!

Cupcake outlasts Haha...

First to hell with this Brenda person!  I'm HAVING MY 'effin coffee today!

hang on...
gotta...
take....
a...
huge........
slurp.........
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............!!!

Ok, as the caffeine and sugar  and nice Chai Latte cream run through my veins the calmness takes over.  Niceeeeeeeeeeeeeee... what could be better than this?

Well, I will 'effin tell you! A
CUPCAKE!!!!!!!!
Yes, a nice, moist, delicious cupcake from my favorite gluten free bakery.  It was two weeks ago today that I realized that almost 10 of these little delicious mounds of glory were left over from the hubs bday party and  would be accompanying me home.

So, going back and reading previous posts to catch up on any comments I read the one with the topic of how long would haha last.  Well, just letting my favorites dueling beootchhes know that the 'effin CUPCAKE WILL ALWAYS OUTLAST a mere haha!

Disclaimer: The author of this post would like to express her confusion at the exact point of this post except for the mere reason she wanted to say the word CUPCAKE since according to some mysterious Brenda bitch she is not allowed to eat such mentioned cupcakes!  Even though the author thinks that this mysterious Brenda bitch is sitting in some hidden corner eating some sort of sugar filled cupcake or maybe she is eating PEARS!

Eat My Cupcake Emily

6.6 Baby!!!  Of course my vision is blurry, I'm starving and have no energy but I'm down 6.6...
Just kidding on most of that.  I feel good!  And I am down 6.6 and haven't finished my fourth day yet!

Ha ha -ho - hum,... oh cupcakes!

Well I went up a pound. Darn wine. Still down 5 tho so still beating Elle! Sorry girlfriend. (We'll see what Friday has to say...I may actually stay away from wine just to try to win!)
About the diet...Don't forget all fresh veggies, fruit, and meat!!! Packaged stuff contains extra stuff that's MUY MAL for you!!!

Buenos Noches, Senoritas.

(Feelin a little fiesta-ish...don't ask)

Down 2 Ounces, Bitches!

Nice title, huh?  If that doesn't scare nice people off I don't know what will....Cupcakes.  I really am down just 2 ounces.  I think I am at 4.4 now for 2 days total and on my 3rd day of conditioning.  I will report what my cupcake brings tomorrow after a full 3 days on Dietitian diet.  You wanted the scoop, Jonesie...You got it, Cupcake! : )

All the vegetables and meat you want.
Excluding: pork, corn and anything pickled.  Like...pickles, or sourkraut.  Too much sodium.

5-7 pcs of fresh/fresh frozen fruits a day for 4 days. 

Excluding:
Bananas
Grapes
Cherries
Pears

These are used for plateau breakers because of the higher amount of sugar (albeit natural). 
However on my tweekiness to make it more like Weight Watchers I am eating a banana a day and grapes like they are angel poop from heaven above!  Love them and it makes me feel defiant towards Brenda and her stupid diet with every little burst in my mouth...that's the only bursting in my mouth, I'm married, remember. 

You get 1 Potato a day up to 8 oz.  And all the lowfat or nonfat cottage cheese you want. 

Once again, to throw a little screw you Brenda in there, I eat anywhere from 1 tsp to 1 tbslp of Peanut Butter with my Banana (making it doubly sinful) and I eat string cheese like my life is actually hanging by each tiny thread of stringy goodness.  Another "eff you" to Brenda, God love 'er...that's God Love Her...not, God Lover...though she does love God...

Ahem.

So that is basically the gist of it.  You need 2 tsp of oil a day ("You gotta eat fat to burn fat Elle!"...thanks, I know!) but never cook it because that is what turns it into saturated fat...blah, blah, blah! 

Should you have any questions or concerns take it up with someone who isn't bitter and jaded about the diet and being fat!...Good luck! : )

Oh yeah, and NO ALCOHOL...how's that for sadistic b*tch!...Emily "eff you's" Brenda on that one every night, huh Em? ; )  Have fun and remember...nothing tastes as good as being thin...except a cupcake!

Ha ha ha ha????

Ok you two beootchhess!  Tell me more info on this diet!  NOW!  I want to be able to honestly HAHA back at ya'll! 

Come on!  Help a girl out here!

:)

Ha Ha Ha!

Okay, I really just wanted to see how long we could keep the Ha Ha thing up before it got old...now I know.  I actually haven't weighed myself yet today, so my "Ha Ha" has nothing to do with weight.  However, it does have to do with the fact that I hit my 100th post yesterday and didn't even realize it.  Go on over to LYLAS and check it out because we hit another milestone over there.  Post 600, collectively!  It's been a big week for us!...and I do mean BIG!

Ha HA!

I am down 6 pounds today. Yea Brenda! Now tomorrow...might not be so pretty...

Ha!

I did go down!!!  4.2 total in two days baby!!  This is one of those gratifying moments with Brenda's diet that makes the initial headache, starving and building momentum, worth while.  I do feel freakin fantastic other than the headache.  I have been implementing items from Weight Watchers (all fruit, tsp PB, and string cheese) and it's worked well.  I feel good, scale back on track and I'm getting back in control of life in general after all the recent turmoil.  I'm back, Baby!!!  4.2 less fat!

I just have to scream CUPCAKE!

CUPCAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so cupcaking pissed!  I finally gathered up the courage to step on the scale (the one at the school because I do not own one at my house) and got some very disturbing news. 

Although I have gone down literally 6 pants sizes I have not lost anything more.  In fact the scale is EXACTLY the same as it was 3 weeks ago!  Nothing gained, nothing lost.  I know I know.  I should be happy that I didn't gain anything but seriously?  

Not even a measly few ounces?   WTH!   I need some progress here. 

What is a girl to do?

I'm down!!!

As Elle so sweetly pointed out, I am down 2.8 pounds, woo hoo!!! I hope tomorrow still is kind!!! No cupcake eating goin on here! Promise!

Cupcake the Scale!

My stupid scale did not say what I wanted it to this morning!  I went down .8 lbs...wth?  It's fine, just irritating since cupcakin Emily was not as "good" as me and still went down 2 lbs more!  Whateve.  I'm okay with me.  (In other words: I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!!...never mind, keep the dog.  He's too little and not enough meat to bother with kinda like small wings or snow crab legs.)

Another Cupcake kind of day......

Here I am starting the morning (and believe me it's NOT at that ungodly hour that this cupcake of a blog says when I hit the submit button!)

I have my cup of coffee (no cupcake there) and have actually cut down on it because I know that there is a horrifying amount of cupcaking (substituted for F**king) calories with the amount of sugar and creamer my son puts in it for me.   I can't figure out why he does that except maybe there was some morning a few cupcake years back that I nearly ripped his head off when he brought me a nearly black cup of coffee to consume.

Anyways, back on topic (did I ever mention an ADD problem that seems to plague me?) the morning is barely started and I already want to go back to bed.  UGH... I wish I had a walking buddy.  I mean for two mornings now I truthfully have thought about going walking but I don't want to go alone and my BFF is such a bitch and has a real job that she has to go to every morning M-F and by the time Saturday comes well who the cupcake wants to walk on a weekend?  

So, now I want to weigh myself.  I feel if I have a starting weight this week then I can have the joy of the loss at the end of the week.  OH cupcake... will I really have the joy or will I have the inevitable disappointment of staying the same weight or even worse gaining???  Cupcake, cupcake, cupcake! (Substitute Sh*t, Damn, Hell or even F*ck whichever suits you here)

I just want you two ladies to know that it's hard

1. Not having someone living close enough to me to motivate my big ass.  (You two live close enough to keep each other accountable! GET WITH IT LADIES! but not too much b/c I don't want you to beat me too badly!)
2. avoid racing to the bakery and buying a few dozen cupcakes and wolfing them down!
3. to NOT say curse words here especially the F word! 

LOL  Notice there is no ROFLMAO because

1. rolling on the floor requires some sort of energy and well I don't have any cupcakes!
2. and the thought that my Ass would actually be laughed off is only a pipe dream because I would die of a heart attack trying to laugh the amount of time it would take to laugh this big ass off and then if I actually did laugh it off I would have to find some energy to clean up the disgusting mess of ass parts all over the living room before the hubs gets home because this week I am trying to be a good wife and actually do something all day while he is gone at work instead of laying around being a sloth. 

So there!  NO ROFLMAO!  Just a little bit of LOL for you.

Oh cupcake!  That took too much energy!  On the bright side do you think I burned a few calories typing this cupcake of a post today?

Jonsie~~

I miss you cupcake!

You two cupcakes crack my eggs up!!! I, too, have done Brenda's diet all day. And actually I feel pretty good. Now ask me how I feel if Elle beats my a#@ on the scale and I may feel differently. RIght now I actually feel pretty happy with myself. I have not cheated. I have eaten healthy. And, oddly enough...my WW points for today are at 13!~ No wonder we lose weight so fast on Brenda's diet. Though it's a little surprising to see...yikes. No wonder if I eat even a bite of cupcake when I'm on this blasted diet I gain 10 pounds. I'll keep you posted as to what the scale says tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be down at least 3 pounds!

Feel Like Poop

Or should I say, Cupcake.  I feel like cupcake.  My allergies are freakin horrendous today and I can't wake up.  I'm sneezing my head off and I want to lay down.  The kids are crabbier than usual.  I think they know it's Monday too.  My weight is fat.  I'm back on Brenda's diet that I said I would rather die than do again.  It's just a sh*tty day.  I'm stayin positive though because I'm going to beat the scale and Emily's #!  It's gonna happen.  Just deal! : )

Ughhhh Monday

Title says it all.  I don't have much to say except that I feel thinner today.  Is it mind over matter?  Do I have the courage to step on the scale?  I don't know. 

I am down several pant sizes.  In fact I successfully gave away my comfort clothes.  This morning I have even chosen to put on the size Large instead of the XLarge shirt.  It's not tight, but I do like the fact I "hide" in the bigger size. 

*Sigh*

diet

Ok Ok. I am going to do the "dietician's diet" for 5 days. The only thing I am going to change is I am going to have one banana a day. I am hoping (based on what I've learned) that this will keep my body from going into shock when I go back to WW next week so I don't gain 10 pounds back! I'll keep you all posted!!!

Sunday Routine Down the Pooper

I have no clue what to write about.  So, why are you on, you ask?  Because my stupid little brother and his stupid friend are in town for Spring break and stayed over last night.  Which means my living room is a makeshift fraternity until they go back to school.  Which further more means that I can not drink my coffee while staring mindlessly at the TV for an hour which is how I usually start my Sundays.  So here I am confined to my kitchen, with the laptop and my coffee, thinking about running, and by running I mean driving the two minutes, to Krispy Kremes and using my visitors as a reason to down 6 warm, soft glazed with my coffee...I may even buy them some.