Happy Effin New Year!

Operation Gluttony is coming to a screeching halt! Well, actually there is one more get-together tonight, but then it comes to a screeching halt. I am so sick of food (in general) and really wish that I could live off of the sun (like the vegetable I've been this week...okay, so I was a potato, but even those are acceptable on that God-forsaken diet we have done off and on, and off and on...and off and on...I am going to fold laundry all day and watch a Biggest Loser marathon to get my fat *ss motivated. Nothing like watching other fat people work their *sses off to get me motivated...while drinking wine and eating a cookie...I'll let you know how that goes...Happy New (low) Year!

I hate you

Elle, I am so proud of you...and I hate you. It seems like when I'm reallly on board and ready to DO SOMETHING your iffy, and now look at you, all gung ho! And I am like...yeah, screw it. Why can't we both be on the same frickin page! I am hoping that Jan. 1 gives us that! Ok, actually I will be out of town for a family meeting on Jan. 1 so my GO day will probably be Jan. 3 but you know what I mean.

2nd Meeting

I have my 2nd meeting with Weight Watchers tonight and weigh in. I'm nervous. I have been better this week but I haven't fully done the program due to the holidays (I know, excuses, excuses...blah, blah, blah.) I should be happy if I just didn't gain, but I keep telling myself that they'll think bad of me if I didn't lose 10 lbs this first week. I know they probably won't but I'm insecure about it. I will let you know later, or tomorrow, how it goes...and if they point and laugh.

The Well Runs Dry

Do you ever have an issue with making time to drink? That may seem ridiculous to some of you, but I have this problem a lot, especially while dieting and trying to get all my water in. My problem right now is that I have not had a drink of water in 3 days. I know that is extremely unhealthy and saying I'm too busy to drink is an excuse but that's where I'm at. As a result I feel a bladder infection or UTI coming on due to dehydration. I'm downing the water now but only because I'm physically starting to feel like shit. Why do I put other stuff so far in front of myself that I let this happen? Oh well, what's done is done. I will do better. I have to or I'm going to end up on medication that make my pee orange.

Weight Watcher's Doesn't Suck!

I am on Day 5 of loosely dieting (I'm being better but not getting super serious until the holidays are over). I am down 6.2 lbs! That's just being better, not good! I love it! I don't feel deprived at all. I mean, how could I? Last night I ate a giant Greek salad, half a cup of bomb-*ss homemade fettuccine alfredo, 2 Gooey Butter Cream cookies, 2 chocolate chip cookies and a glass of wine! And I still went down 2 lbs from yesterday!! I'm so freakin happy right now I could eat a cookie! Don't mind if I do...

Signs of Getting Fatter

Do you have signs that you are getting fatter without the obvious ones (scale, clothes, mirror)? Obviously, I do or I wouldn't be begging for yours to validate my neurosis...Anyway, here were some of the "signs" or behaviors I was noticing for the past few months that I have reached a certain point with my self image. Tell me if these sound familiar, similar to yours or completely different:
Wearing baggy clothes.
Wearing my husbands clothes when I can.
Wearing lots of black. (which in my defense is actually one of my favorite colors so I wear a lot of black anyway, but I've been staying away from my tight fitting bright orange sweater and hadn't even thought of why until recently)
Avoiding the mirror. ( haven't looked at anything but my face to do make up for about 8 weeks now)
Sex has slowed down the last few months.
Avoiding seeing people or doing activities that would require me to be around people that I'm not extremely comfortable with.
Weighing myself. (sounds weird, but when I'm dieting well I weigh everyday. I'm obsessive. When I'm not doing well I don't weigh at all)
These are just the things that I can think of off the top of my head. If I think of more I will post them but I would really like some feedback on this subject. I am extremely interested in what makes some emotional eaters and not others and how their behaviors differ.

I'm a Weight Watcher!

Well, it's official. I joined weight watcher's tonight. I joined in the hopes of getting back on track, having a support system and being held accountable, because you bet your sweet ass if we're forking over $40 a month (which isn't bad) Aiden is going to make sure I get a sweet ass out of it!
: )
I love the leader of the group. She is older, not stick thin but very healthy looking, and she's funny. She made me laugh when, quite frankly, I just wanted to cry that I have let myself come to this. But I'm not going to dwell on the coulda, woulda, shoulda. I am going to move forward from this point on and not look back. I am not reporting my weight right now. When I get to a number I'm more comfortable with I will tell you what I started at. As for now just know that when I weigh in next week I am going to be at least one pound less than I am now! Join me on my journey...